If you are struggling to conceive, it can become very easy to consider love-making to be a “chore” rather than the wonderful experience it once was. This is especially true if you are undergoing any form of fertility treatment. The irony is, the more fizz there is in your love-making, the more likely you are to actually conceive. The good news is, it's easier than you think to put the fizz back into your love life.
As human beings we are naturally tactile creatures – which is why we enjoy holding hands, hugging, rubbing our feet off each other etc. Physical contact releases endorphins – the body's natural “feel-good” factor. Cuddling also releases oxytocin which, as well as creating a sense of well-being and joy, can also help you to conceive.
Forget About the Calendar
Try not to restrict love-making to the fertile time of the month. If you are only having sex during the two to three days of the month when you are most likely to have a baby then you are potentially missing out on at least another 25 days of fun and connection! This will not only strengthen your relationship but it will also increase your fertility.
Talk It Out
Problems with fertility create an underlying level of stress which can start to pervade every area of your life and raised stress levels create havoc with your hormonal balance. All of a sudden every newspaper article or TV programme appears to feature someone who has become effortlessly pregnant. It can be natural for couples to bottle up their feelings – possibly because they are in denial or it could be they do not want to hurt their partner's feelings. This can quite easily end up causing a rift between the couple. Your partner is the person you are hoping to be raising a child with, they are the person you trust most with your innermost feelings and fears - so naturally they are the person most able to offer you the support you need. This is a journey you are on together so it is important to share your fears and your worries.
Change the Subject
All the opinions and discussions you had before you both decided to have a baby together are just as important as they ever were. These are the things that connected you both when you first met and the ground on which your relationship grew and thrived. Steer your focus away from the fertility conversations whenever you can to keep the connection between you strong.
Laughter is the Best Medicine
At times it will be the last thing on your mind- but finding and hanging on to your sense of humour can be one of the best things you can do to prevent becoming overshadowed by your fertility journey. Laughter is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress. It lightens your burdens and keeps you grounded and hopeful. Watch a funny film, go to a comedy show, share funny stories – and benefit from all those lovely mood-enhancing endorphins.
Book a Date Night
There is no more effective way to let your partner know they are important to you than by booking a night out together. An evening in a restaurant, at the cinema or bowling alley give you both the opportunity to reconnect and make each other a priority. If funds are low, a romantic beach walk would be the perfect solution. Make sure the date is in the calendar and cannot be cancelled. Use the evening as an opportunity to re-connect and re-learn why you love this person and what they mean to you.
“Boudoir” Your Bedroom
Sprucing up the bedroom and making it an inviting and intimate place works wonders for your love life. Free the bedroom of any clutter, change the sheets more often, hang romantic pictures on the wall and soften the lighting. Then - add in some candles and romantic music and hey presto you have turned your bedroom into a bona fide love nest!